No answer

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

Mark Twain

Stuck?

The Pin is mightier than the sword.

Fred Reinfeld

Toasted?

When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.

John Kennedy Toole

Or both

I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.

E. B. White

And so it goes

Life's like Sanskrit read to a pony.

Lou Reed 

Hell hath no fury

This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.

A. Edmondson

Expedite this?

And the sooner the tea's out of the way, the sooner we can get out the gin, eh?

Henry Reed

Thesis, Antithesis?

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Manfred Eigen

Make a wish?

Fairy tales can come true.
They can happen to you.

Johnny Richards & Carolyn Leigh

Strange resemblance

dop·pel·gäng·er, noun. A ghostly counterpart of a living person.