Unproductive behavior?

Worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.

Baz Lurhman

There was never a child so lovely

... but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Perfection gone awry?

There was a snake in his Garden of Eden, a crumpled leaf in his bed of roses, a grain of sand in his spiritual spinach. 

P.G. Wodehouse

Love looks forward

... hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its head.  

Mignon McLaughlin

Never face facts

... if you do you'll never get up in the morning.

Marlo Thomas

Gnawing thoughts?

If it was necessary to tolerate in other people everything that one permits oneself, life would be unbearable.
 
Georges Courteline

Get crazy?

Balance is overrated.
 

Thomas Leonard

Sometimes it doesn't matter

The glass can be half empty or half full so long as there is whiskey in it.

Anon.

Ticked off?

A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it's better than no inspiration at all. 

Rita Mae Brown

Good manners

... involve the habit of skillful insincerity – the habit of saying ‘good morning’ to those whose mornings you would rather blight, and of passing the butter to those you would rather starve.   

Roger Scruton

Daylight Savings Time reconsidered

It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.

Somerset Maugham

Forever young?

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

Tom Robbins

The weekend reconsidered

There is nothing quite so liberating as a Saturday morning, and nothing quite so confining as a Sunday night.

Kat Foley

Toe to toe?

One can’t fight with oneself, for this battle has only one loser.

Mario Vargas Llosa

Time to recalibrate?

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Ken Dykes

There are two kinds of people in the world

The kind who alphabetize their record collections, and the kind who don't.  

Sarah Vowell

Fa la la?

Orphans, dead parents, lonely children at Christmas, morose spoken word recordings, everything you love about the holidays. Move the turkey over so you can fit your head in the oven.  

April Winchell

Trouble getting started?

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.  

Emo Phillips

Or not

I can, with one eye squinted, take it all as a blessing.

Flannery O'Connor

Happy Motoring

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Steven Wright