Just chill?

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Steven Wright

Exit left?

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

Truman Capote

The fine art of conversation?

When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway.

Clyde B. Aster

Forever young?

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

Tom Robbins

Turn on, tune in, drop out?

Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Kurt Vonnegut

Mother's work?

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

Doug Coupland

Slippery truth?

All is in the hands of man. Therefore wash them often.

Stanislaw J. Lec

Voice recognition technology reconsidered

And God said: DELETE lines One to Aleph. LOAD. RUN. 

And the Universe ceased to exist.

Arthur C. Clarke

Fellowship?

A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there's more conversation.

William Blake

Aim high?

Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.

Allen Ginsberg

If at first you do succeed

... try to hide your astonishment.

Harry Banks

Ever after?

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

Benjamin Disraeli

Skip the RSVP

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

Orson Wells

Always present?

 The past is not dead. 
In fact, it's not even past.

William Faulkner

The post-modern social unit?

There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.

Alice Thomas Ellis

The weekend reconsidered

There is nothing quite so liberating as a Saturday morning, and nothing quite so confining as a Sunday night.

Kat Foley

Snap?

There are some oligarchs that make me want to bite them just as one crunches into a carrot or a radish. 

Eva Perón

Too much fun?

People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.

Thomas Sowell

A sedentary life reconsidered?

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.

Blaise Pascal

Red eye aside

 All photos are accurate. None of them is the truth.  

Richard Avedon

Toss that?

A number of rare or newly experienced foods have been claimed to be aphrodisiacs. At one time this quality was even ascribed to the tomato. Reflect on that when you are next preparing the family salad.

Jane Grigson

Despite our best efforts

Love, and a cough, cannot be hid.

George Herbert

It was an ideal day for football

-- too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players 

Red Smith 

Tidiness reconsidered

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

Laurence J. Peter

Toe to toe?

One can’t fight with oneself, for this battle has only one loser.

Mario Vargas Llosa

And?

 

Buffy's high school was built on top of a vortex of evil, the Hellmouth. And whose wasn't?

Sarah Vowell

Idle chat?

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.

Margaret Millar

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife.

Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. 

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