Despite our best efforts

Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity.  You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it.

S. J. Perelman

Compost?

You are more useful to Nature dead than alive.

U.G. Krishnamurti

Garden pests?

The first zucchini I ever saw I killed it with a hoe.

John Gould

Garden Discourse

I do not scorn weeds. As a matter of fact, there are some instances where they are necessary for the garden. The question of propriety is decided by the dialogue between man and weed.

Shimpei Kusano