To succeed in the world

... it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.

Voltaire

Thou shalt not covet?

He who has never envied the vegetable has missed the human drama.

E. M. Cioran

A word to the wise?

[We] like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification. 

Bill Watterson

An intergalactic twist

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, prepare to die.

Klingon Proverb

Well considered

It is a truly wise man who does not play leap frog with a unicorn.

Anon. 

Does context matter?

Trust in God, but tie your camel.


Arab proverb

No more problem.

One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full.  And he said, "Is it half full or half empty?"  So I drank the water.  No more problem.  

Alexander Jodorowsky

An imperfect tool?

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

Douglas Adams

Time heals nothing.

It merely rearranges your memory.

Anon.

Hoe your own row?

Everyone has enough weeds to pull in their own garden.

Flemish proverb

Get crazy

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.

Japanese Proverb

An exception to the rule?

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Mark Twain

To our best friends....

....who know the worst about us and refuse to believe it.

Traditional English toast

Veni, Vidi, Velcro.

I came.
I saw.
I stuck around.