Matrophobia II

She looks like something that would eat its young.

Dorothy Parker

An unproductive relationship?

Alice wonders if other women in the middle of the night have begun to resent their Formica.   

Barbara Kingsolver

Flaky advice?

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.

David Mamet

Swept away?

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin.  Or maybe I mean why. 

Katharine Whitehorn

If she hadn't gone into cooking...

I would have married a Republican banker and become an alcoholic.
Julie Child

Plat du jour?

Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice, and I don't want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do, there is one obvious cooking tip: Always remember to remove the bell from the cat's collar before cooking.   Mike Royko 

One man's therapy?

I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It's amazing how it cheers one up to shred oranges and scrub the floor.

George Bernard Shaw

Dust Bunnies Reconsidered

The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are drifting side by side to our common doom.

Clarence Darrow

Terminated with extreme prejudice?

She did not so much cook as assassinate food.

Storm Jameson

Home cooking?

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.  The original meal has never been found.   

Calvin Trillin

Clean living?

When you dreams turn to dust, vacuum.

Second life?

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office.

Anon.

Gracious Living?

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.

Charles Schulz

Dirty little secret?

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

Erma Bombeck