Remember this

... if you feel guilty when you eat cake. Somewhere, someone is having a birthday.

Anon.

To be precise

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

Imelda Marcos

Hung over?

He resolved, having done it once, never to move his eyeballs again.

Kingsley Amis 

Informed taste?

It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption.

James Thurber

Yield to temptation.

 

It may not pass your way again.

Robert A. Heinlein     

No thanks

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

Rita Mae Brown

Sobering thought?

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.  

Samuel Johnson

Well considered?

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Mae West

Everybody is a potential murderer....

...I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.

Clarence Darrow

Get lucky?

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Anon.

Get crazy

I'm going to throw caution to the winds and have a sweet sherry.

Alan Bennett.

TTD?

Literature is a textually transmitted disease, normally contracted in childhood.

Jane Yolen

Start the day right

If you have not slept, or if you have slept, or if you have headache, or sciatica, or leprosy, or thunder-stroke, I beseech you, by all angels, to hold your peace, and not pollute the morning.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is immoral to get drunk...

...because the headache comes after the drinking, but if the headache came first and the drunkenness afterwards, it would be moral to get drunk.

Samuel Butler

In case you were wondering

Of course it's alright for librarians to smell of drink.

Barbara Pym

Book lust?

Libraries are brothels for the mind, librarians are the madams, greeting customers, understanding their strange tastes and needs, and pimping books.

Guy Browning, The Guardian, October 18, 2003.

Expect nothing....

Live frugally on surprise.

Alice Walker