The embodiment of grace?

I for one venerate a petticoat. 

Lord Byron 

Legal Prowess?

I got Oedipus off the incest charge--technicality, of course--he didn't know it was his mother at the time.  

Jasper Fforde

We've heard that a million monkeys....

...at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.

Robert Wilensky

After a good dinner....

... one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives.

Oscar Wilde

To go where no man has gone before

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

Jonathan Swift

Beyond one man's endurance

The thought of two thousand people crunching celery at the same time horrified me.

George Bernard Shaw

Teach your children well

Head injuries in nursery rhymes: Evidence of a dangerous subtext in children's literature. More at Canadian Medication Association Journal.

Make a reservation

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.

Robert Frost

New York Cultural Treasures, cont.

Enrico Caruso Museum of America, Brooklyn. Among its many artifacts is Caruso's death mask. [Only two others are known to exist.] The Museum is open every Sunday from 2:00 to 5:00 PM, by appointment only.

Last words #10

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

Karl Marx

Plus ça change...

I don't know if there are men on the moon, but if there are they must be using the earth as their lunatic asylum. 

George Bernard Shaw

Joys of summer

What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.

Jane Austen

Strange Convergence = Jane Austen + Zombies

Seth Grahame-Smith's mashup combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride and Prejudice with elements of modern zombie fiction. Peruse the first three chapters or get the details.