Keep your options open

In making theories, always keep a window open so that you can throw one out if necessary.

Bela Schick

Start the day right

I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

I hate to advocate....

...drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

Hunter S. Thompson

Hit me

Books are the blessed chloroform of the mind.

Robert Chambers

Stranger than truth

I read the newspaper avidly.
It is my one form of continuous fiction.

A. Bevan

Do as I say?

Old people are fond of giving good advice; it consoles them for no longer being capable of setting a bad example.

Francois De La Rochefoucauld

Thesis, Antithesis?

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Manfred Eigen

Enjoy your stay

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

Winston S. Churchill

TTD?

Literature is a textually transmitted disease, normally contracted in childhood.

Jane Yolen

For every complex problem...

There is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.

H.L. Mencken

Abstract thinking?

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

John Wilmot

Strange Convergence: National Flags + Food

My country 'tis of cheese?

A woman's preogative

I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

Lady Nancy Astor

So be it

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.

John Mortimer

It's all in your head

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
Is dental.

Ogden Nash

Make a wish?

Fairy tales can come true.
They can happen to you.

Johnny Richards & Carolyn Leigh

Veni, Vidi, Velcro.

I came.
I saw.
I stuck around.

The joy of travel

I did not fully understand the dread term 'terminal illness' until I saw Heathrow for myself.

Dennis Potter

Start the day right

If you have not slept, or if you have slept, or if you have headache, or sciatica, or leprosy, or thunder-stroke, I beseech you, by all angels, to hold your peace, and not pollute the morning.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Petition the Lord with prayer?

Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Ambrose Bierce.

A boy and his....

Television!
Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Homer Simpson

Hard at work

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station….

William Faulkner

Not sure when I'll be back

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

Anon.

It is immoral to get drunk...

...because the headache comes after the drinking, but if the headache came first and the drunkenness afterwards, it would be moral to get drunk.

Samuel Butler

Drive steady

The person whose problems are all behind him is probably a school bus driver.

Anon.

A new academic term begins

The dance of the spinning plates.

Holiday escape?

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

Doug Larson

Shall we?

Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

George Bernard Shaw

Man's best friend?

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

August Strindberg.

Strange Convergence = (Speed Dating - Dating) + Therapy

Speed shrinking at NY Times.

If truth is beauty....

How come no one has their hair done in the library?

Lily Tomlin

Your date for the atomic prom

Miss Betty Clift dressed as an intercontinental ballistic missile.

Credits: stevechasmar's photostream @ flickr.com

Too much of a good thing?

She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain.

Louisa May Alcott.