An unproductive relationship?

Alice wonders if other women in the middle of the night have begun to resent their Formica.   

Barbara Kingsolver

Long way round?

Like running East to catch the sunset.

Anonymous

Relocation plan?

Where you come from is gone, where you're going to weren't never there, and where you are ain't no good unless you can get away from it.

Flannery O'Connor

Just wing it?

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

Sean O'Casey

Gift of gab/g?

The problem with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

George Bernard Shaw

Give it time

Tristan and Isolde were lucky to die when they did. They'd be sick of all that rubbish in a year.

Robertson Davies

Babies, reconsidered

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. 

Mae West

Deal or No Deal?

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.  

 Philip K. Dick

Rule of Engagement?

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.

Voltaire

Discourse is fleeting.

But junk mail is forever.

Joe Bob Briggs

The key to inter-species relationships?

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog.

Barbara Holland

Some are easier to overlook?

Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.

Oscar Wilde

Sixth law of fashion

If you are tired of shopping you are going to the wrong shops.

Wallis, Duchess of Windsor

Offensive strategy?

Football combines the two worst features of American life; violence and committee meetings.  

George Will

Sic transit?

What is this that roareth thus?
Can it be a Motor Bus?
Yes, the smell and hideous hum
Indicat Motorem Bum.
Alfred D. Godley

Perspective required?

Distance lends enchantment to the view.

Mark Twain

And then some

Professional [wo/] men
they have no cares;
whatever happens, 
they get theirs.

Ogden Nash

The trouble with being educated

... is that it takes a long time; it uses up the better part of your life and when you are finished what you know is that you would have benefited more by going into banking. 

Philip  K. Dick
  

Strange enthusiasm?

To set but a low value upon toast[ers] is to expose one's deficiencies in right appreciation.

E.V. Lucas

Transparent?

If opinions were underdrawers, she would be Fruit of the Loom.

Julia Glass

Yield to temptation.

 

It may not pass your way again.

Robert A. Heinlein     

The Golden Rule, stipulated

Love your neighbor as yourself; but don't take down the fence.

Carl Sandburg

Sleep on it?

The best advice is found on the pillow.

Danish Proverb  

Cheerfulness reconsidered

Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.  

 Greta Garbo 

She'll grow into it?

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Jane Caminos

Picture perfect?

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.

Thomas Szasz

Paranormal policy?

I’m all for saluting the maternal sixth sense, though I’m not sure I want a government run by intuition. 

Maureen Dowd

Discordant duty?

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. 

Edith Sitwell

Rubbed out?

Either you're the one erasing or the one being erased.

Jim Carrey

Your guess is as good as mine?

After all, what is reality but a collective hunch?

Jane Wagner