Happy Motoring

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Steven Wright

The view from 10,000 feet?

Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem. 

John Galsworthy 

Fame reconsidered

That's so silly.  An icon is something on your computer.

Cher

Everyone has a purpose in life.

Perhaps yours is watching television.

David Letterman

Menacing thoughts?

My mind is a neighborhood I try not to go into alone.

Anne Lamott

Gobbled?

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.  

 Erma Bombeck

Nothing but the truth?

It's not true that I had nothing on.
I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

Only her hairdresser knows for sure

In the 1950's only seven percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all.

Nora Ephron

Chrono-dysphoria

Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life.

Steven Wright

Your lucky day?

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck. 

 S. J. Perelman

Raison d'etre?

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Kurt Vonnegut

One of life's persistent questions

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Steven Wright

New frontier?

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant

Cross Cultural Enrichment?

I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me they are more fascinating than any fashion salon.  

Wallis Simpson

RIPped off?

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.  

Ambrose Bierce

Where's the line?

There is, however, a limit at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue.

Edmund Burke 

Biological imperative?

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

Jane Wagner

Change of scenery?

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

Fran Lebowitz

Go with the flow?

It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Henry Allen

Toasted?

When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.

John Kennedy Toole

Lost in Lalaland?

Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

Dorothy Parker

To succeed in the world

... it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.

Voltaire

All in a day's work

The current focus of my work is on improving our rationality in the face of complexity. 

 Marshall Clemens

Inspiration reconsidered

I come from a family where the only emotion respectable to show is irritation.  In some this tendency produces hives, in others literature, in me both.

Flannery O'Connor

Necessities?

The road to enlightenment is long and difficult, and you should try not to forget snacks and magazines.

Anne Lamott

Enough is enough?

I hold that a little rebellion is a good thing.  

Thomas Jefferson

Nothing in education is so astonishing....

... as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts. 

Henry Adams

Well done?

We feel free when we escape -- even if it be but from the frying pan to the fire.  

 Eric Hoffer

Domestic ecology

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Ogden Nash