If only

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.  

Fran Lebowitz

A qualified endorsement?

He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend; provided, of course, he really is dead. 

Voltaire

Amen

God grant me the strength to change the things I must, the wisdom to know what I must change, and the rationality to know God isn't the key person here.  
Eliezer S. Yudkowsky 

Truth is a fruit

... which should not be plucked until it is ripe.

Voltaire

Waste management

A work desk is a garbage can with drawers.

Anon.

Deep learning?

Self-reflection is more just looking in the mirror.

Anon.

What's missing?

Anyone's life truly lived consists of work, sunshine, exercise, soap, plenty of fresh air, and a happy contented spirit.

Lillie Langtry

The dark side?

The American people never carry an umbrella. They prepare to walk in eternal sunshine. 

Alfred E. Smith 

Having it all?

Others are keen to see if natives other than us live better than we do, without heat in pipes, ice in boxes, sunshine in bulbs, music on disks, or images gliding over a pale screen. 


Ella Maillart 

Longest day?

It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.

Bill Watterson

Blessed indeed...

... Is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  

Lydia M. Child

I never did very well in math

I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

Calvin Trillin

Weighty matters?

If he had a mind, there was something on it. 

P. G. Wodehouse
 

Big night

Ah, the alleys . . . It's really a sensory experience, you know. The scent of Aqua Net on a beehive hairdo. The roar of polyester rubbing against old Naugahyde. The site of a cigarette stubbed out on a patty melt. All this plus the anticipation of placing your feet in shoes only seven thousand others have worn before you. 
Diane Chambers (Cheers)

Sucker-punched?

Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing-glove. 

P. G. Wodehouse
 

Heavenly strains?

Harpists spend ninety percent of their lives tuning their harps and ten percent playing out of tune.


Igor Stravinsky

Lest we forget

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.


George Bernard Shaw

But we do

I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.

Rita Mae Brown

Take an advil?

Yes, but every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache. 
Anon.

No, after you.

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a an endless standing in line.   

H.L. Mencken

In case you were wondering

If it's against state law, it's generally considered a breach of Etiquette.

Judith Martin

Overextended?

I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter, scraped over too much bread.

J. R. R. Tolkien.

Flaky advice?

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.

David Mamet

Food for thought?

If tofu adds years to your life, they probably wouldn't be the best years.

Garrison Keillor

No thanks

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

Rita Mae Brown

It's June. Exercise caution.

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

James Thurber 

Twisted?

I've had bowls of spaghetti that were more tightly structured than this argument.


Anthony Lane

If my mind had the power to heal me.....

 ...you would think it would also have the power to keep me out of graduate school. 

 Lynda Callicotte

Oh, the possibilities

Lying in bed would be an altogether supreme experience... if one only had a colored pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling.
 

G.K. Chesterton

Does context matter?

Trust in God, but tie your camel.


Arab proverb